How to Find Abundance in Loss
You can’t believe it’s happening to you. Or maybe you just don’t want to. You pinch yourself, hoping to wake-up. You think it must be a dream — or nightmare — as your boss delivers the fatal blow, saying the phrase you never thought you’d hear: “Your position has been eliminated, effective immediately.”
There’s no doubt that it’s extremely unsettling to suddenly find yourself without the security of a monthly paycheck. But there’s a greater feeling of loss that’s experienced on a much deeper level. As humans, one of our basic needs is to feel significant — to feel like what we do matters to other people.
We All Crave Connection
We have this innate desire because relationships give our lives meaning. Belonging and contributing to a community provides a strong sense of self-worth. When we know our actions have an impact on the lives of others, we tend to live a more purposeful life.
At the most primal level, we’re social beings who are hardwired for connection. But healthy and caring relationships are not only key to our survival, they’re how we unleash our unlimited growth potential.
Losing Your Job Hurts
My job was my passion. I had poured my heart into my work for eight years. I found it deeply gratifying to be solving real business issues and unlocking organizational value while helping my fellow employees thrive.
I genuinely felt like I was making a unique and irreplaceable contribution to a values-based organization. I truly thought it could never happen to me.
Yet there I was, unemployed for the first time in my life. Worse yet, I had been fired! With my ego bruised and battered, and self-worth at an all-time low, it was easy to get caught in a vicious cycle of negative self-talk. Desperately trying to figure out where I went wrong, I started to question everything.
Loss Creates Space
Through that questioning, I uncovered the humbling truth that over the years, my work had become my identity. My self-worth was based on the feedback and opinions of my superiors and colleagues. In my eagerness to please others and feel valuable, I became entirely consumed by my job.
Deep down, I had known for years that my work habits were unhealthy and unsustainable, yet I continued to justify them. Over time, my unbalanced relationship with work transformed from an unhealthy attachment to a full-blown addiction.
I had reached a place where I was no longer prioritizing my health and happiness. I was making personal sacrifices due to my lack of boundaries with work. My job consumed my time and energy, leaving little room to invest in meaningful relationships and creative passions outside of work.
After being forced to step away from my job, I realized that I finally had the opportunity to make a much needed course correction. I had a chance to pursue growth and finally move forward in the direction of my dreams. It was clear that being fired was exactly the gift I needed to receive — the space to reinvent myself.
There’s Magic in the Unknown
Your brain, on a subconscious level, uses past experiences to predict and plan for future events. So more often than not, your future is a product of your past. When your brain recognizes a pattern, it goes on autopilot, reacting to your past memories instead of responding to the present moment. It’s why you can pull your hand away from a hot stove without having to think about it.
If you’re familiar with the power of neuroplasticity, you know that after enough repetitions, a habit is formed. This allows your conscious brain to put focus, attention and energy into higher cognitive functions while your subconscious brain handles the familiar background tasks. It’s truly an amazing growth system, but without proper awareness, it’s extremely limiting.
Consider the difference between danger and fear. Danger is a real threat which, when avoided keeps us alive. Fear, on the other hand, is a perceived threat that feels real. So fear avoidance doesn’t result in staying alive, it does quite the opposite actually. Fear keeps you in your comfort zone — so focused on not dying, you never really live.
When a major life event happens, our daily patterns are interrupted and our future becomes relatively unknown. It’s scary and exciting for exactly the same reason: it’s a new experience. And that’s where the magic happens. That’s when your life begins to change. Unbelievable opportunities appear in abundance when you wholeheartedly embrace the unknown.
Gratitude Attracts Abundance
Years ago, I started an LLC with the dream of financial independence. The plan was to quickly land a few big clients and start living life on easy street. Needless to say, it was harder than I anticipated and after a solid six months of effort, I let my dream die.
Looking back, I now understand that I wasn’t really ready to work for myself. I couldn’t fully commit to the cause so I told myself the story that entrepreneurship wasn’t for me. The truth is, I didn’t have faith that I could actually achieve my crazy dream. I couldn’t believe that I deserved success because I was still relying on others to validate my self-worth.
Losing my job was the push I needed to pursue my dreams with new intention. I’m healthier and happier than I’ve ever been because of it. I feel lucky for the opportunity to live and work in a deeply authentic way. I honestly couldn’t be more grateful for my current circumstances.
With the loving support of mentors, friends, and family, I’ve not only weathered the storm, but I’m a better person for it. The struggle makes you stronger and more resilient. Change demands growth and develops confidence, but rewards handsomely. As your gratitude for life grows, you will attract more to be grateful for — it’s the law.
You Have to Realize Your Potential
Potential energy is everywhere. Just like life-giving oxygen, it’s invisible but it surrounds you. Known as dark matter in quantum physics, it’s the space between things. What we used to think of as empty, negative space is actually the place where unlimited potential exists.
You change your life by expanding your awareness and seeing new possibilities. Yes, you still need to take action to get results, but half the battle is removing your limiting beliefs. When you have faith that you’re worthy of a better future, you open yourself up to an unbelievable universe of opportunities.
Loss is often looked at as a void to be filled, as though something’s missing — but loss is liberating. It creates space and potential energy which gives you the opportunity to change your life. You just need to trust in yourself, commit to the work, and have the faith and persistence to stick with it long enough for your dreams to manifest.
Believe It to Achieve It
You’d be surprised how things just seem to work out in your favor when you dedicate yourself to a dream. If you want to change your life and have honest faith in your abilities, the universe conspires to make it happen. Your wildest dreams will come true as long as you truly believe they will.
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